MEET CHAD, FAILED MASTER OF THE HAIKU

I have a d
in creative writing
haiku
my comeback


Mr johnson
rocks
solid at reading creative writing
good looking
inspiring to his students


Haiku
according to the textbook
doesn’t need to rhyme
no punctuation
japanese are really smart
grampa doesn’t like them from wwii
but their poetry rocks


A roast beef sandwich
really good
especially with
horseradish


The quick brown fox
jumped over
the lazy dog
then he got run over
the lazy dog smiled and went back to sleep


Mrs. bologne
really nice in biology
but
that moustache


The curtain is fluttering
i’m bored
i smell grass
the fall leaves
also ben gay


Flowers
flowers
you buy them for a girl, then they die
kind of like life


My fingernails
super long
i cut them
man it feels good


The thing
about haiku
no matter what you say
it sounds good because there’s no capital letters or punctuation


The tips of her hair
over her freckles
her smile
she’s dating that douche
why do girls like guys that suck


I’m thirsty
there’s a drinking fountain
i take a drink
boom i’m not thirsty
kind of like life


The wind
a swirl of leaves
round and round in the corner
like they’re getting their ass kicked


Fred
polly
chester
tanya
if i had friends those would be their names


I don’t get
why the pittsburgh steelers
have their logo
on only one side of their helmets
why not have them on both sides


Marky mark
marky mark
one hit and then done
what happened to him


Today at lunch
i had a burrito
it was excellent
then i had a ding dong


I like these pants
but they’re a little short
that’s the thing about pants
either they’re too long or they’e too short


Raindrops on the windshield
she still has those freckles
i see her walking with him
shes wearing his lettermans jacket
he lettered in tennis which really isnt a sport


Sunflowers
my friend bill
smell of an air freshener
kind of like life