Hasta la vista, Snuggie: The Forever Lazy is in town
There is a genius out there. At this moment, while you and I schlepp to work in the dreadfulness of Monday morning, she is counting her money at her villa in Barbados and laughing at us.
She invented the Snuggie. You probably have one. How could you resist?
We used to be like the woman in the commercials, struggling to stay warm in her pathetic little blanket, then having to suffer while she answered the phone, then having to suffer as she turned the page of the book, or suffer while she changed the channel with the clicker. Throwing away money on her heating bill. Unhappy with herself and with her life.
Then she bought a Snuggie. The gratification was instant. A blanket with sleeves! You could flip a channel, turn the page, pet your dog, make popcorn, crochet, dance, whatever you like to do, and you never had to leave the comfort of your Snuggie.
Brilliant. What did they do before the television was invented? What did we do before the Snuggie was invented?
Like you, when I first saw the commercial, I had one thought: How lucky we are to be alive at this time in history.
Every generation thinks they've gone as far as humans can go. Then the next generation goes farther. Or further. And we are witnessing it again, proving what Grandma always told you: No matter how smart you think you are, there is always somebody smarter.
In this case, it's The Forever Lazy, a product that will change the lounging industry forever.
I don't have a Snuggie. But I can spot its fatal flaw: Once you're in it, you're pretty much confined to your couch. If you try to walk around, you fall on your face. And then there is the indignity of the powder room. And of course, when you're wearing a Snuggie, you look like a damned idiot.
The Forever Lazy solves all that. It's like a Snuggie, except it has fitted openings for your hands and feet. An escape hatch in the back. And a hood. Gone are the days of the Snuggie when you zipped yourself in and were done for the night. As the commercial shows, with The Forever Lazy, you can be active! You can stand on your deck and have cocktails; tailgate before the big football game; go to the bathroom. And you look super cool, as the people in the photo above do.
It's the age-old power and genius of capitalism operating before our eyes. It goes something like this: An innovator comes along. He sees the knob set at 9. He thinks for a while, then turns it to 10. Everybody slaps their foreheads in amazement. That's as high as it goes, they think. It can't go any farther. Or further.
But a revolutionary comes along. She looks at the knob that seems destined to stay at 10 forever. Then she cranks it to 11.
We'll all be amazed at how great the 11 is. Then somebody will come along and turn it to 12. Ingenuity, like history, never ends. That's what the socialists and the communists just don't get.